10 Steps to Lessen the Stress In a Divorce

Getting Divorced is stressful. It causes sleepless nights and it can be hard to look forward into the future and imagine what life will be like. We cannot wave a magic wand and erase the pain but what we can do is give you some steps to think about to help make life easier. Taking practical steps rather that turning matters constantly over in your mind will help improve your mindset (we promise!).

1. If you have made the decision that you are going to get divorced then get legal help at the outset. You should always go and speak to a specialist Family Solicitor. They can give you clear advice and explain to you what your legal rights are. Try not to speak to friends and family about this as they may not give you the right information.
2. Think about what you want to do after the divorce. One of the first points to address will be where do you want to live? Do you intend on staying in the marital home? You should look for a suitable house if you are not staying in the family home, and consider what the costs of running a house will be and if you can afford it.
3. If you have any children then think carefully about the arrangements for your children. Who should they live with? What contact with the absent parent have with them? How will this practically work? We would always advise discussing this with your spouse, as this is likely to work better than an arrangement imposed by the court. If you need legal help to get this sorted then as many of us at Nayyars are parents, we will do our best to look after your child’s interests.
4. ‘Knee Jerk’ decisions- avoid making these as you only get one chance to get the right settlement for you; so try not making any snap decisions which you may regret in the future. Do not rush. Stop and spend some time thinking about what you actually want. We often advise our clients to get a pen and paper, sit down and write this out. What do you want in an ideal world? What would you realistically settle for?
5. You may start with an informal arrangement but if this is not working then contact Nayyars and we can try and have it formalised by the Court. That way neither of you can depart from it in the future. If you have tried yourself and it is not working then let Nayyars take the pressure from you.
6. Remember your finances will be under scrutiny. Keep an eye on your finances and don’t go on a spending spree you can’t afford! Any unusual spending will show up on bank statements during the settlement process. This could potentially weaken your case! Do not try and sell property or share out assets. The Courts are not daft and they will immediately see what you are trying to do and this will undermine your credibility.
7. Consider what interim financial agreements will work for you. Whether you are still living in the same house, or one party has moved out, any interim arrangement needs to provide both parties with sufficient means to meet their immediate outgoings.
8. Understand your finances. Gather together details of your assets, liabilities, income and outgoings. Make a list of incomings and outgoings and work out whether you will be short each month. Remember a divorce can hit you hard financially and you may end up worse off. This is just a sad reality of a marriage break up and you may have to adjust your finances accordingly.
9. Be conscious of text messages and social media comments regarding your finances and divorce. Do not send any abusive messages to your ex however unreasonable they are being. They may be used against you at Court. If you are unclear about this speak to one of our Family Law Solicitors who will guide you.
10. You should always remember there is a life after divorce. As painful as things might be right now, with advice from a specialist Family Solicitor, you should come away with the best resolution to your case for you with the ability to move on confidently. Always remember your solicitor will always be there for advice! We often say at Nayyars a problem shared is a problem halved!

If you need to contact one of our Family Law Team then give us a call today.

Elisha Quinn

Paralegal