Not every divorce has to be a battle. Many couples reach the end of their marriage sad but clear-headed, wanting to part fairly, protect their children and avoid spending their savings on legal fees. If that sounds like you, an amicable divorce is not only possible, it is increasingly the norm.

An amicable divorce simply means working together, rather than against each other, to end the marriage and agree arrangements for money and children. Changes to the law in England and Wales have made this far easier, and choosing the right approach early can save months of stress and thousands of pounds.

This guide explains how to keep your divorce civil, the options that help you avoid court, and practical ways to keep costs under control. Our family law solicitors support many couples who want exactly this kind of outcome, so the advice below comes from what we see work in practice.

What does an amicable divorce look like?

An amicable divorce does not mean you agree on everything from day one. It means you are both committed to resolving differences through discussion and compromise rather than through a fight in court. Most couples still have points to work through, particularly around the home, pensions and time with the children.

What makes it amicable is the approach: honest sharing of information, respectful communication, and a willingness to look for solutions that work for the whole family. Couples who manage this tend to finish sooner, spend less, and find it easier to co-parent afterwards.

Start with a joint, no-fault application

Since April 2022, England and Wales has had no-fault divorce. You no longer need to cite adultery or unreasonable behaviour, which used to set a tone of blame from the very first document. Instead, you simply confirm that the marriage has broken down irretrievably.

Couples can now apply together, as joint applicants, through the online service on GOV.UK. A joint application sends a powerful signal that you are approaching things as a team, and there is only one court fee, which you can share. There is a minimum 20-week reflection period before the conditional order and a further six weeks and one day before the final order, which gives you time to agree arrangements. Our guide to the divorce process sets out each stage.

Ways to resolve disagreements without court

Where you do not yet agree, there are several routes that keep you out of a contested court case, each suited to different couples.

Mediation is the most common. A trained, neutral mediator helps you talk through the issues and reach proposals you both accept. The mediator does not take sides or give legal advice, so it works best alongside advice from your own solicitor. The government's Family Mediation Voucher Scheme has offered eligible families a contribution of up to £500 towards mediation where the issues involve children, so it is worth asking an accredited mediator whether you qualify.

Collaborative law involves each of you having your own specially trained solicitor, with everyone meeting together to work out an agreement. Everyone signs up to resolving things without going to court, which keeps the focus firmly on settlement.

Arbitration is an option if you are stuck on one or two issues. You appoint a qualified arbitrator who makes a binding decision, usually far more quickly and privately than the court.

Putting the children first

Children cope with separation far better when their parents keep conflict away from them. That means agreeing what to tell them together, never asking them to choose sides, and keeping routines as stable as possible.

A parenting plan is a practical way to agree arrangements: where the children will live, how much time they will spend with each parent, how holidays and special occasions will work, and how you will communicate about school and health. It is not legally binding, but it gives everyone clarity and can be updated as the children grow. If you need help with arrangements, our children law team can advise.

Agreeing finances amicably

The finances are where amicable divorces most often run into trouble, usually because one person feels they do not have the full picture. The cure is openness. Exchanging full financial information early, often using the court's Form E even if you are not going to court, builds trust and makes negotiations quicker.

Once you agree, the terms must be written into a consent order and approved by a judge. This is essential. Without it, either of you could make a financial claim against the other years later, even after the divorce is finalised. Our financial settlement solicitors can draft the order and check that what you have agreed is fair and workable, particularly where pensions are involved.

How to keep the costs of divorce down

The biggest driver of legal costs is conflict. Every round of hostile letters, every disputed point and every court hearing adds to the bill. Couples who keep talking and narrow down their disagreements early spend far less than those who fight over every detail.

Being organised helps too. Gather bank statements, pension valuations and property details before you meet your solicitor, and keep your questions focused. Use your solicitor for legal advice and negotiation, and lean on friends, family or a counsellor for emotional support, which is both more helpful and much cheaper.

It can seem counterintuitive, but taking legal advice at the start often saves money. Knowing what a fair outcome looks like stops you agreeing to something you later regret, and it avoids the cost of unpicking a poorly drafted agreement down the line.

Keeping it civil when emotions run high

Even the most amicable divorce has difficult moments. It helps to agree ground rules for communication, such as sticking to email for practical matters, avoiding messages late at night, and keeping discussions about money separate from conversations about the children.

Try to focus on the future rather than the past. Arguing about why the marriage ended rarely changes the outcome, but it can derail negotiations and drive up costs. If talking face to face becomes too hard, mediation or communication through solicitors can keep things moving without escalating the conflict.

Frequently asked questions

A solicitor can usually only advise one of you, because your interests may conflict even if you agree. You can apply for the divorce jointly, and many couples each take their own advice while keeping the process cooperative.

Because of the built-in waiting periods, a no-fault divorce takes at least around six to seven months from application to final order. If you agree on finances early, your consent order can usually be approved within that time.

Yes. A consent order approved by the court is what makes your financial agreement legally binding. Without one, either of you could make a financial claim in the future, even after the divorce is final.

Mediation itself is not compulsory, and you do not need to attend it to get divorced. However, if you apply to court about finances or children, you will usually have to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) first, unless an exemption applies.

A joint online application, combined with agreeing arrangements through discussion or mediation and a solicitor-drafted consent order, is usually the most cost-effective route. Avoiding a contested court case is the single biggest saving.

Can we use the same solicitor for an amicable divorce?

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Do we need a consent order if we agree on everything?

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Conclusion

An amicable divorce is built on a few simple choices: applying jointly where you can, sharing information openly, using mediation or other out-of-court options when you disagree, and keeping the children's wellbeing at the centre. Those choices keep the temperature down and the costs under control.

Agreement still needs to be made legally secure, so finish with a consent order and take advice at the points that matter. That way you can close this chapter fairly and move on with confidence.

This article is for general information only and does not constitute legal advice. Every case depends on its own facts, so please contact Nayyars Solicitors for advice specific to your situation.